So close, but not close enough

Christmas is so close I can taste it, but this one feels different. One reason I know is that it's another holiday without my mother.....just one of many more to come. It's a bitter pill to swallow and one that choked me. Another reason it feels different is that it's like I've got a whole other family to celebrate it with. Which would be my friends that I love to death. I want to be able to have the blind faith that they'll be with me forever, but for some reason I won't let myself have complete hope in it. So I take it day by day and I'll see how far it'll take me. One thing I wish, is that I mean as much to them as they mean to me. Anyway, I'm so excited for Christmas! No matter how old you get, it'll always be about what you find under the tree and the excitement that it ensues. So I hope everybody has a magical Christmas.